can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
