the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
