Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
