Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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