mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
only you would photoshop your dick
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Holy sore nipples Batman
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
