His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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