Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
