He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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