i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
