So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
