That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
