The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
