Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
