Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
