Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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