It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
