Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
