YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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