I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
