I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
