It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
