Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
