Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
