Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
