Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
