its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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