that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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