didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
