quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize