I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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