There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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