Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
