Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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