I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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