Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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