Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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