Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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