There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the condom got lost in my hair
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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