I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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