She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it's great music for shaving your balls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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