When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I understand Curling. That high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
