What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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