I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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