I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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