What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
