so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
