I have demons in me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
