Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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