If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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