I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
